This week I am one of the featured bloggers! How cool is that? Please join me in visiting all the others for this week.

1. Closing Time
2. One Blessed Mamma
3. El Cloud Homeschool: Busy Minds, Busy Hands, Busy Feet
4. Alive in Spirit- Ok you are already here so no need for a link.
5. Ozark Rumblings
6. Army of 5
7. Fenced In Family
8. Debbie’s Digest
9. Footprints in the Butter
10. Got Chai?

Our TOS Crew has had a blog walk going on and I apologize for not posting them earlier when it started. Things have been busy and now that they are slowing kind of down for the moment I through I’d share last week’s blogs with you.

1. Deanna’s Corner
2. Light, Liberty, and Learning
3. Bunny Trails
4. Flowers N Plaid Homeschool
5. Gadow Ohana
6. His Wonderful Works
7. Expand
8. Confessions of a Homeschooler
9. The Sojourner
10. A Full Heart

Ok. This is probably a big question and concern for most homeschoolers and future homeschoolers alike. I think the best thing to do is to start with where you live and what the requirements are for homeschooling in your state or location. For example my state only requires that we agree we will teach certain subjects but does not tell us what specifically we need to teach within those subjects. Your state or area might have more or less specific requirements. It is very important to know your homeschool regulations.

After you know these then I suggest you sit down and write your goals and expectations for homeschooling your kids. It is important to have a vision or focus for your kids’ education. The Bible states in Proverbs 29:18 it states that “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained.” This is so true of homeschooling. Without a vision or plan you will find it difficult to stay on task and accomplish the goals you need in homeschooling your children. You may find that doubt and confusion sets in and you begin questioning whether or not you should homeschool. You may wonder if your kids are learning. On and on these and other thoughts may enter your mind. For me that is a good reason to begin with a plan and set goals.

Many folks buy full curriculum that already have a complete plan built in and ready to use. Other folks like myself homeschool eclectically so that we pull things form various sources and even develop our own subject material. Regardless how you do it once you have a plan and goals in mind, I feel that is the most important thing you can do in deciding what to teach.

There are many books out there that have scope and sequences for the different grade levels. You don’t need to stick strictly to these but can use them as guidelines. In fact my advise is to do just that since kids learn at different speeds, learning styles, and there interests and your goals are more than likely different than what is established for “schooled” children. That is why you are homeschooling right? At least for me it is. You can also find a lot of things on the internet if you just search for it. Remember that no matter how well you plan that you will always have gaps in what you teach your child. This is true of schooled kids too so it is not something to worry about. If you have a plan of what you want your child to know and be able to do once you are done teaching them then those are the areas and things to focus on when you teach your child. After all how many of those dates and facts can you remember from your years in school? Once your child has established some type of diurection for their life then as a homeschooler you can teach toward those goals. For example right now my youngest wants to be a veterinarian and my oldest a fashion designer. We still learn the basics and what the state requires but we may lean more heavily on those areas which would achieve their goals.

One series of books that I am especially fond of are the “What your child needs to know…” books by E.D Hirsch Each of these books focus on a different grade level and provide references and ideas at each level. Other books I use frequently are Home Learning Year by Year by Rupp and How to Write a Low Cost/ No Cost Curriculum For Your Home-school Child by Hendrickson. Last of all is a book that I as a member of the TOS Homeschool Crew am currently reviewing called The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling by Debra Bell. All of these books are very good at helping you to decide what you want to and ought to teach your speciifc child. Homeschooling for me should not follow what the current school system is telling you or that other parent thinks you should do but what your specific child needs to be taught within the framework of your family, your beliefs and most importantly your vision. I keep a binder with my goals and my vision statement so that I can come back to it whenever I start to ask myself that question- How do I know what to teach?

My family was just volunteering cleaning up a local park when I happened to mention that I homeschool my kids. One of the other ladies working on our team right away was like “Oh we were seriously thinking about homeschoolng. Our main thing though is what about socialization?” The people I encounter who find out I homeschool seem to think that homeschooling is a good thing because after all the kids get a good education, you have control over what they learn, the kids aren’t tied down to a school year schedule and you can vacation and take trips throughout the year, you can teach them at their pace etc etc. The only thing people seem to be hung up on is the question about socialization.

I laugh because they see my kids face to face and can see how well they interact with all age groups, are well-behaved and know how to deal with various social settings. Most can see they have a group of friends and are not stuck inside our home all day 24/7. So why do they think that homeschooled kids are not able to be properly socialized?

Ok so what do people mean by socialization? Do they mean knowing how to stand in line without talking, only working with and talking to their peers of their own age group? Raising their hand in order to talk when the time is appropriate to be allowed to talk? Waiting to go to the bathroom until a pre-approved bathroom break? Walking down the hall with a buddy etc? Or does it mean allowing your kids to be bullied or be a bully? Maybe being exposed to drugs and sex at an early age so that they can be tempted and see whether or not they have the character within themselves to refuse and do the right thing? Or do people just think that homeschooled kids are not allowed to meet and do things with other kids outside of a public school environment. I don’t really have the answer to what some people think socialization means to them. If they think it means to be “social” then school is definitely not a place for that. My memory of school was sitting at a desk in a very controlled environment. After all some places don’t even have recess anymore and others are getting rid of physical education, art, music as well as other disciplines.

Let’s look at the word itself. There are various definitions for the word. From an online dictionary, socialization can mean “a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.”

A medical dictionary states that it is “the process by which a human being beginning at infancy acquires the habits, beliefs, and accumulated knowledge of society through education and training for adult status ”

As I look at these definitions I wonder whose responsibility is it that our kids learn these things. For me it is the parents’ primary role to make sure their kids know how to behave and act. Parents are the ones who should be teaching their kids proper values and overseeing who might be proper companions for their kids. The schools only responsibility is to teach your children various subjects such as Math, English etc. Your child’s teacher is not going to take your child by the hand and take the time to teach them how to behave in a certain situation, how to deal with a situation that comes up etc. They already expect your children to be raised in a home where they have been exposed to and learned proper etiquette and behavior etc.. Is it a wonder our schools are not meeting the standards for education these days since they are now supposedly expected to also raise people’s kids and take over the roles of a parent?

Ok I got off on a side note there a bit. Really though think about it? I homeschool because I believe in a strong family and a warm loving home environment where my kids feel secure and have proper boundaries in order to know what is expected of them. My kids are being taught by me in order to learn how to grow up to be responsible, caring and compassionate adults so they can withstand temptations and be strong in what they believe. I want them to have a vision for their life and learn what they want for in a life mate if that is what is in the future for them. There are so many other things they should learn from their parents that no school can possibly replace. I for one would not want my kids to be brought up a government or any people who may or may not share our personal beliefs, morals, and convictions.

I think people have been nrainwashed by teh groups and people who oppose homeschooling to autmatically think socialzation does not happen with homeschoolers and blindly accept it rather than think it thoruhg themselves. I say this because of an experienc eI had many years ago. At a park during the week, I was in a picnic pavilion with a group of homeschoolers (maybe about 40 or more families). THE kids were running around together playing and talking. The moms were talking amongst themselves and watching the kids. An older gentleman walked over to a small group of Moms I was sitting with and asked what was going on. We tols them what we were doing that day. He got a funny look on his face and said you homeschool? What about your kids aren’t you afraid they won’t have any friends or be socialized? We were just dumbfounded and resisted the urge to laugh. Before him were groups of kids laughing and playing together. They were getting along. Little kids and bigger kids playing with each other as well side by side. Older kids were watching out and taking care of the younger kids and they weren’t even in the same families. Without words, what a wonderful answer to the question of socialization and he was totally blind to it. Before our first child was even school age, my husband, daughter and I were at the zoo and happened to watch a father and his kids talking and interacting. They passed by and the youngest said something to us and I Knew that they were homeschoolers just from their words and behavior. I asked and sure enough it was true. You just know when you see kids that are homeschooled because there just is something special about how they act and behave towards others and how they carry themselves. Knowing all of this I know that socialization is only a problem to others who do not yet understand what homeschooling is all about or do not want to know.

Yes you may find a child here or there that seem to not have any socialization but you know what? I suspect that it is not the result of whether or not they were homeschooled. These kids will probably be that way from in or out of school environment. If you look around you may even find more “schooled” kids that have not been properly socialized. I strongly believe socialization is the role of the parents and not an institution.